THE ART OF THE DEAL: Greenland Edition

Breaking: A deal has been made. Allegedly.

In a stunning development that surprised absolutely everyone (including, apparently, NATO), a certain golden-combed rooster has announced that a framework deal for Greenland is in place. The document, held triumphantly aloft, reportedly contains the words "Trust me" in very large letters.

The Negotiations

Sources close to the henhouse report that NATO representatives were "briefly consulted" via a group chat that may or may not have been on read. When reached for comment, several military chickens in uniform helmets were seen looking at each other asking, "Wait, we agreed to WHAT?"

Denmark, which currently administers Greenland, has reportedly responded with what diplomatic observers are calling "visible confusion."

What's In The Deal?

Details remain scarce, but the document is said to include:

• A very big signature
• The word "tremendous" (47 times)
• A map with Greenland circled in gold Sharpie
• Terms and conditions (in very, very small print)

Source

Based on: "Trump claims Greenland deal with NATO" — CNN, January 24, 2026